Increase your self love

How can you really learn to embrace yourself? What does self love actually mean? It's a broad concept where we can think of doing something for ourselves, but ultimately self-love is learning to value yourself by creating a higher awareness of yourself and the world around you.

At a younger age, we are taught to perform and pay attention to social contacts. When you are (highly) sensitive, this can cause problems, even at an early stage of your life. Because you are constantly concerned with what others think of you, and performance plays a major role in society, you forget to listen to your own true feelings. This puts your own authenticity to the test. At a young age, this is often impossible to change, because everyone has to conform to the social image.

During your self-love you encounter a lot of fear

It is true that when you are in a process of self-love, acceptance and enlightenment, a lot comes at you emotionally. Perhaps you have had to suppress many feelings for a long time to fit into that image that has been created. As a result, it can be experienced as wrong when you start working with yourself, and for example want to act more assertively towards what is expected, but does not suit you at all as a person / soul. You may experience feelings of guilt early in your process. This is generally a good sign, as it means you are trying to replace your old pattern with a healthier new outlook on life.

Not everyone will understand you

Because you start working with yourself in the context of self-love, you may suddenly notice things. For example relationships with other people. Because you're focused on yourself and less on what others think of you, you may start to doubt the integrity of some people in your life. Probably because you spent a long time trying to adapt to those people. It may be that people who are currently in your life distance themselves, show misunderstanding or react negatively to your process. Letting go of the old can again generate many emotions, but will also provide many insights and enlightenment.

10 signs you are ready for more self love

Sometimes it is difficult to estimate whether your self-love is in balance. How do you actually know if your self-love is enough? Below we have listed 10 signs.

You are tired and overstimulated
You have a lot of trouble saying no
You always help others at the expense of yourself
You prefer to avoid social contacts
You quickly adopt someone else's opinion
You have trouble expressing your own feelings
You often suffer from anxiety or a restless feeling
You feel that people take you for granted
Lack of Self Esteem
You can hardly reward yourself

Value yourself and increase your self-love

As discussed, self-love can be increased on different levels. When you notice that your self-love is out of balance, you can start working on this by replacing certain patterns. This will happen with trial and error because your brain also has to get used to the new way of thinking. You may have to deal with some setbacks from yourself or that you get conflicted when other people around you ask too much of you. There are several aspects that will increase your self-love. Below we have listed them.

Every morning, name what you are grateful for
Do something for yourself every day no matter how small
Write down your feelings (writing is more accessible)
Then write down your own desires and goals/dreams
Start with (guided) meditation or yoga
Start with assertiveness training (learning to say no)
Exercise to strengthen your mindset
Start with positive affirmations

Increasing your self love takes time

When you start increasing your self-love, a large part is becoming aware of your own being. You will have to work every day on who you are, what you feel and where you want to go in life. This will cost you time, time that you invest in your own happiness and well-being. This will make you feel happier and change your view of the world, of yourself and of other people. An important part of developing more self-love is assertiveness. This mainly means that you can guard your boundaries without feeling bad about it or getting stuck. You can follow a training for this, but you can also practice this yourself with a friend or on your own. You do this by saying no or stop in the mirror. The word no or stop can be seen as negative at first, eventually this feeling will turn into self-confidence and protecting your self-love and worth. You can come up with positive affirmations yourself or use our list of positive affirmations that you can name or write down daily. During your process, remember that self-love takes time to grow.

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Date: 06-06-'23

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